A Chronicle of my Changing Times.

New Years Eve

 

Well, here's the obligatory end of year note. This past year's seen a lot of changes - not all that have visable. This upcoming year will see many radical changes. Is it tonight that everyone's supposed to make New Year Resolutions or is that tomorrow? Does anyone even still make resolutions or have the gone the way of bowler hats and pegged jeans - out of style. Well here are my two: 1.) Embrace the changes coming, make the most of those oportunities that present themselves, and enjoy the ride; 2.) Take better care of myself.

 

Went to see Meet the Fockers this afternoon after work with my sister. I'd highly recommend it to everyone. I actually did two spit takes when I stupidly went to sip my Coke during the movie. Luckily no one was sitting in front of me. Meet the Parents was the type of movie that makes me chuckle just thinking about it, this one was just as good.

 

Happy New Year, everyone. I hope it is filled with blessings for you.

Posted by: mjmarble at December 31, 2004 23:33 | link | comments

Of Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness

 

So my former partner in crime at work, Sherry, was married today at Disney World. She worked on my team and for a year and a half was my sounding board and muse in regards to politics, news, and the differences that seperate all of us. She recently was promoted within the department in November and even though she sits but 15 feet away, circumstances have changed and we no longer talk. Thus, I was shocked when she walked up to me on Tuesday and pointed me to an email she'd sent with a link to her wedding homepage. After 4 years 364 days of being engaged, I guess it was time. I know she's been wanting this for a very long time, so I can feel nothing but complete joy and wonderment at someone who's life is going so wonderful of late.

 

This evening my parents bought a digital camera as a Christmas present for each other. It's great to see my dad play with his new toy as my mom chirped in from the chair across the room about his need to read the directions before he did anything. There was a sense of satisfaction and contentment in the room which has been sorely missing over the past few years of moving, job changes, unemployment and health issues - all of which came in multiple doses. This may not have been the life they pictured and pursued for themselves at 25 - but sitting there watching my father a bit later crawl on all fours to play with his granddaughter as my mom chatted with my sister about how she couldn't wait to get the camera working so she could get some pictures of the sight before them; I doubt either would change where they're at now for those dreams of their far off youth.

 

And early this morning I had the brightest moment of my day. Believe it or not, this came whilst I was but still half awake on my way to the ever dreaded work. I happened to glance eastward whilst driving and saw a sunrise of mythical poetry or an exagerated painting. And for a moment it was mine - a mixture of orange and purple cracking through the clouds giving color to the grey. For a brief moment I wasn't driving to work but rather being in a moment and saying a pray of thanks to God for that moment he gave me.

 

Tomorrow is New Years Eve to be followed by the year which will see the first outwardly noticable changes in my life. I am going to have to roll up my sleves and begin to pursue that life I want. This is not to say that I haven't been working already, but much remains to be done - and each step is more difficult than the one before it. But for this night, the last full one of 2004, I shall relax and reflect the joy and change of the past year. And I shall rest.

 

Posted by: mjmarble at December 30, 2004 22:18 | link | comments (1)

Cherishing Christmas Eve

So I spent today at work like I've spent the last 10 days at work, hating being there. If I had any misconceptions about having to get up and go to a job I detest becoming easier with the knowledge that it has a finite ending, I have been forcefully corrected from that view. Of course, the fact that it's slower than molasses in winter and there are no sales leads to be had during this festive holiday season doesn't make it any easier. Luckily one of my coworkers discovered a way around the company firewall and managed to download a copy of Lemonade Tycoon and we now have a way to while away the mindnumbing hours. I became so engrossed in the game today that when I was cleared to leave a half an hour early I was stuck playing the game for another 20 minutes. Yeah, sorta like me being online here at 12:40 am for no good reason.

Once I did leave, I managed to perform what's becoming tradition for me: last minute Chirstmas shopping. It's a bit weird this year since I know I'm leaving in a few months. I feel very conflicted and pulled in many directions all at once. Of course I want to spend as much time as possible with my family. Especially with my grandma and great aunt Dorothy. Both are over 80 and may not be around when I return. But I also feel like I have so much to do, there's not time for it all (above and beyond Christmas and other holiday expectations). And then there's presents. I'm obviously slightly short on cash with paying my my debt off within my grasp and the need for savings for future endeavors and gadgetry. But on the flip side I know that I will probably be the recipient of generous gifts and I feel bad about not being able to reciprocate. Guilt is a horrid thing.

So later tonight, in the midst of attempting to enjoy the worship service, my family, good food and yes, my grandmother's infamous & delectable molasses cookies; tucked back in my mind will be the notion that this Chirstmas is one of receiving and not so much giving. And that, my friends, is not they type of person I am. I suspect that I may get an iPod or something similarly silly from my family.

But then again, I cannot let this ruin this season for me. So I'm going to do my best to enjoy every blessed moment of the day and sear it into my memory. Merry Christmas to everyone. May God make it wonderful for you all.

Posted by: mjmarble at December 24, 2004 00:56 | link | comments (1)

Another Late Night...

Every time I begin to think that I'm getting myself into a regular (ie. normal person's) schedule I flub it up and end up doing something until all hours of the night. And then the next night it's the same way, and then the next night, etc. Of course, that's until my body completely shuts down from lack of sleep. There just seems to be something about the hours of 10 pm until 2 am that I find myself highly productive. I'm not sure why, but here I am tonight copying all my music onto my hard drive (Ok, I've been doing this for a few days - I have a decent amount of music). I always seem to just say, "One more CD and then I'll go to bed." Well, that one more CD was about 2 hrs ago. Not like I have to be up in 5 hrs at this point. Meh. Why do I do this to myself?

It's sorta like Christmas shopping. I always push it until a few days before Christmas and pull something out of my butt by rushing around, fighting the lines and lack of items I want a stores. If only stores not named Walmart were open late at night... I'd probably have all my Christmas shopping done in June. But, alas, we're stuck with sucky WallyWorld Walmart where I refuse to shop. I won't bore ya'll with it here - I'll save my anit-Walmart rant for another day.

::Change the CD - Done with Erasure and onto Peter Gabriel's So::

I'm still uber excited for Bulgaria. I'm making my wish list of items I want to take with me. I'm also creating a mental list of a slew of random things. Everything from questions for Kate (my new personal Bulgarian PCV answer woman - which reminds me that I must ask her about job titles and doing multiple formal tasks, ie she's working with the government but is also now teaching TEFL on the side), to plans on what to pack, what I need to buy to pack, ideas like sanity weekends or holidays with other PCV's to keep the spirit's up, to friends to come and visit, to forms I haven't even looked at, to Grad School App's to organize and GRE's to prep for, and on and on.... I guess I'm glad I have 4 months (from tomorrow!!!) until I leave.

::Switching CD player to Gin Blossoms::

Which brings up another major hurdle, I need to go through, organize, and sell whatever I can of what I own. A bit drastic? Yes. It's gonna suck starting over one day, but it's for the greater good now. Plus, should I ever meet someone and get married, she'll take one look at the hodgepodge of things I already have and we'll end up starting over anyways. Might as well get a head start and give myself a bit of travelin' money in the meantime... Well, CD's almost done. I really should get to bed. It is late.

Posted by: mjmarble at December 21, 2004 01:43 | link | comments (1)

Wow time seems to be flying right bye lately. I don't understand why... ;)

I've just spend the last 2-3 hours looking through blogs of current PCV's (Peace Corp Volunteers) in Bulgaria and imagining myself there. It made me realize what a small window ya'll have into my little world. I tend not to post about those things I consider mundane, yet I realize it's often those little details I love about other people's blogs. Well, that and up to date postings. I absolutely hate when a person just randomly stops posting. For instantce I was reading up on a PCV who posted fairly regularly for 14 months and then.... nothing. I don't know why. No explaination as to why she'd stopped. And what's more frustrating is the fact that it ended in 2003 which means I don't know how her second year in Bulgaria went, if she overcame those things which troubled her the first go 'round or what. Hmm... I promise to never just end in that manner. Unless I die or something morbid like that.

So I've spent the last day or so alternating between being utterly and totally giddy over what the future holds (try it sometime - it's rather refreshing) to worrying about what to bring/pack and how on earth I'm going to afford everything I want to bring. I also spent a lot of time today on TARflies talking with other people about electronic gadgetry and what I really should take and what I didn't need. Somehow they managed to talk me off of the ledge regarding procuring a digital SLR camera since it's probalby more than I'll need. Especially since I already have a film SLR whcih I love. It just would've been neat to integrate my toys and have multiple lens' to flip back and forth...

And then tonight I talked extensively with Annie and Dan (affectionately known in my little corner of the internet as Pseudostudent and MrPseudostudent/Dingo Dan) regarding what I really needed in the way of digital gadgetry. They both work with computers and systems and have much more expertise in this than I do - especially Dan. What it all boils down to is that I'm looking for a mid-sized iPod (which I hope to get for Christmas), a point and shoot digital camera with some manuel controls, and a general laptop with lots of RAM from a major supplier with good service capabilities in Eastern Europe. That might be Dell since they have a employee discount program at work which gives me 10-12% off any purchase.

I also have spent quite a bit of time talking with my mom and dad talking over this idea that I'm going to Bulgaria for two years. My dad, in particular, doesn't seem too keen on the idea. It's weird to be 29 and trying to convince your family that you know what you're doing. I found a couple good picture collections at Webshots which I showed my mom earlier. That coupled with showing her details on the map where Bulgaria actually was in relation to the rest of the world (ie. Iraq and the Middle East) I think decreased some of her fears. I haven't had a chance to show that info to my dad yet.

In a related story, my brother-in-law, Dan works with a man who's 28 year-old daughter is also joining the PC and has grad school aspirations following it, just like I do. Well, this man just happens to be the compliance officer for my area. Two days ago, Dan emails me with this girl's phone number so that we could talk. I called and left a message last night since I got my invitation on Tuesday and was a bit busy. As fate would have it, today this man (Larry) shows up in my department to chastise the area compliance woman (from what I could tell). After a bit of deduction, I confirm this man is in fact Larry. We didn't have the most productive of conversations. I believe the most telling dialoge came when I asked him if his daughter had any idea where she would be heading, of course meaning with PC. He answered he didn't think she had any clue where she was headed, and from his wording I'm sure he wasn't referring to PC. Ah, the joys of concerned parents.

And on a final note, I'm beginning to run myself ragged. I'm so excited I can't sleep. I'm also stressed. Those two combined have always caused me cancor sores in my mouth and on my tounge. Now is not an exception. At night I get wrapped up in searching things on PC and Bulgaria (Ok, also on TAR and my Indians). I don't go to bed before 1am to be up at 6:30 to get ready for work. A week or two of this and I'm showing signs of cracking, yet I feel so excited and spastic I can't seem to get myself to bed. Such is the state of my life right now.

Oh, and I officially accepted my Peace Corp assignment today. I leave for Bulgaria (or at least PC staging) April 22. Only 126 days away. Not that I'm counting. Off to bed...

Posted by: mjmarble at December 17, 2004 01:02 | link | comments (2)