A Chronicle of my Changing Times.

Birthday Musings...

In a few hours I will be officially 31 years old.  My mother likes to point out I actually don't change my age until 3pm EST when I was born.  I'm not so sure on that, but it's always been her thing.

This Birthday finds me a bit contemplative.  I'm sitting in a foreign city wandering about playing tourist and I just can't seem to enjoy myself as much as I probably should be.  There's just this cloud that seems to be hanging over me, and it's not just the drab rain clouds that have dampened the city throughout the day.

I've placed a lot of faith in myself with this plan of mine I came up with a few years ago.  I uprooted my life and kinda went for broke.  In the next few weeks the last of my preparations for the 'end game' of graduate school will be completed.  GRE will have (hopefully) successfully been taken, personal essay written, recommendations tracked down and applications in the mail.  But the nagging question floats unspoken in the air around me - what happens if I fail at some point or what if all I've done hasn't been enough.

And then there's the personal side of things.  I'm not a spring chicken anymore, as the saying goes.   Although I'm currently happier than I've been in a long time, I've spent the last few years of my life without the one thing I want more than anything in this world - someone with whom to share it all.  I want a big family, a house, and all the fun things that make life worth living.  Up through this very moment, I haven't had it. Theoretically, a lot what I'm doing in PC and with this career change is to set myself up and to make me happy in other part of my life. But no matter how I spin it, today has marked another year of my life single and without any prospects on the horizon.

I might be overly retrospective, but this is my reality as I sit here in my hostel in Istanbul listening to the call to prayer and wondering if the path I've undertaken will lead to where I hope or if everything I've worked towards and wanted has all been but a dream.

Posted by: mjmarble at October 22, 2006 19:56 | link | comments (2)
plan, contemplation, future

Istanbul...

It seems like I post more often when I'm traveling.  This time it's from Istanbul, Turkey.  I'm here with my friend Pauna to celebrate our birthday's - mine being this Sunday.  I'd heard a lot about Istanbul from fellow PCV's who'd traveled here and every one of them loved it.  And from what I've seen, I can see why.

The city is a thriving metropolis deep with history and culture.  These are all first impressions, since I've been here less than 12 hours, but I'm amazed at just about everything around me.  The thing that stands out to me more than anything else is the friendliness of the people here.  Waiters smile and say "Please" and "Thank you" like they actually mean it.  In BG you're lucky if you get a simple "Good Day" when you sit at a table.  Trying to find our Hostel this afternoon, we actually had shopkeepers come out of their shops to point us in the right direction because they saw us looking at a map with our bags.  People on the street have overheard our conversations with each other about where to go or what to see and have offered their advice to us unsolicited.  At a cafe this afternoon, a waiter saw Pauna looking into her empty cup of Turkish Coffee and offered to give her a free reading of her future.

Thus far, we've really only seen the Hagia Sofia since we were tired from traveling overnight, but it was phenominal to see something I've longed to see for a very long time.  I remember reading about the church back in college and saying to myself that I wanted to see it someday.  It's now a museum, after being converted from the largest church in the world to a mosque.   Both faiths are now represented, which is an interesting blend to say the least.

Well, I'm off to get a late dinner.  Hopefully I'll more time in the next few days to post more on this fantasic place.

Posted by: mjmarble at October 20, 2006 22:57 | link | comments (3)
travel

Lucky with friends...

This past week I did something really stupid.  I take the GRE Exam for graduate school on November 6^th  This is an extremely important test for me, as I’ve mentioned previously, since my academic years were not necessarily spent in the library.  Well, they weren’t spent in the library without other friends or girlfriends and maybe a deck of cards.  Yet while at my computer one night I got an instant message from my friend and fellow PCV Melody.  Her birthday is a mere 2 days before mine.  She was interested in what type of plans I had to celebrate.  My plans are to head to Istanbul for a 4 day weekend of fun, sightseeing and cultural growth.  So I’m going to be out of the country. and should have spent the week, including the weekend, studying for it.

This disappointed her a bit because she wanted to throw a party and my place is more suitable for such events.  After bantering about a bit we came up with the ingenious idea that we could throw the party a week early.  Without a second thought and within an hour a guest list of about 30 people was created and an invitation email sent.  Yeah, I’m weak.

About 10 PCV’s came – but I was glad for the ones who did come.  Beer was bought, Hairy Buffalo punch was made, and my apartment was cleaned (in large part by Pauna).  Joining the gathering was a number of my Bulgarian friends.  Honestly, there was nothing exceptional about the gathering – beer was drunk and more was ordered along with smokes.  An amazing fun fact I didn’t know before Saturday night, you can have anything from the 24-hour stores delivered to your front doorstep by many of the taxi companies in town.  This coupled with pizza delivery service apparently makes Haskovo one of the coolest towns PCV’s reside in.  Who knew?

What was exceptional to me about the night was the people who came.  There are many ways to categorize PCV’s here in Bulgaria.  The way that makes the most sense to me and one that I appreciated this past weekend was the difference between younger volunteers and ones with slightly more ‘life experience’.  Many times younger PCV’s are fresh out of college, they’re idealistic and get easily frustrated by their surroundings or lack of accomplishments, and many times vent this frustration in raucous behavior when with other Americans.  Its almost as if PC is an extension of college somehow.  The second group is a bit older, has usually held a job for a number of years or at least has a masters degree of some sort, and typically has more realistic ideas of what can be done in country.  They don’t get frustrated as easily and don’t complain as much.  Discussions with this group are usually deeper and insightful.

By and large the people at the party were from this second group.  Maybe it’s because I’m getting older or because I’m starting to focus more on post-PC plans, but I was happy with the mellow yet lively tone of the evening.  Drinks were poured, tongues loosened, old school hip hop/rap played on my stereo, and good times were had by all until the very late hours of the early morning.  There was a seemingly perfect mixture of people of different interests, lifestyles, backgrounds and even nationalities (considering the BG’s who were there).

Thinking back a few days later I can help but be glad for those people who came.  These are the type of friendships amongst PCV’s I thought I would have from the get go, yet somehow eluded me.  My closest friends here in BG are Bulgarians and I don’t hang out with Americans all that much.  Yet, it’s the Americans that stand out in my mind upon reflection.  There’s a saying that I throw around way too much, “Lucky with friends, unlucky with love”, usually focusing on the negative aspect since women still befuddle me.  Too often I glaze over the positive side that is the friendships that surround me.  For the first time I actually think there might be some fellow PCV’s that I might keep in contact with after our time here is done.

On a side note or two, I leave for Istanbul later this evening.  I’m headed there with a Bulgarian friend who has never left the country before.  It should be an interesting experience.  Due to Presidential elections on Sunday, there is no school on Monday which allows me to take a nice 4 day weekend.  Speaking of school, I finally have my schedule for the semester a full month after school started.  I confirmed it today and starting next week I’ll be doubling the amount I’m teaching from 9 hrs a week to 18 hrs.  In my literature classes, both 11^th and 12^th grades, most students still do not have the text book – so it’s been a bit fortuitous that I haven’t had to teach as much.  They’re buying them as a group, so most should have them by the middle of next week.  On a positive note, I’ve had 12 or so students volunteer to tutor kids in English at a local orphanage.  I’m meeting with the director of the orphanage tomorrow to work out the details.

Life keeps flying by…

Posted by: mjmarble at October 19, 2006 04:09 | link | comments
work, friends, birthday

Down Time...

Everyone needs down time where they can 'recharge their batteries".  I definately have been employing this of late.  Actually, I think I'm doing a bit too much of this - but as long as I continue to make progress on the work I'm doing, I think I'm ok with it.  Actually, I'm about 20x more productive than I was a mere 3 weeks or so ago.  So I'll allow myself these respites.

One major thing that I do is to download American TV shows via bittorrent.  I really got into it towards the end of last year's television seasons.  But maybe this is starting to become a problem.  I had 5 shows I watched and that has now gone up to 9.  Yes, that's nine shows in a seven day week that I'm downloading.  My computer never shuts off.  At least they're spread out over every day but Saturday so the download doesn't slow down.  If you try to download too much at once it seemingly just crawls.

Outside of last years shows - The Amazing Race, Grey's Anatomy, Lost, Veronica Mars and Battlestar Galactica - I've picked up 4 news shows.  I highly recommend Studio 60 (the new Aaron Sorkin - creator of The West Wing and the venerable Sportsnight - show).  It doesn't seem to have the same banter or pacing of classical Sorkin, but it's still good none the less.  The two new shows I'm most excited about this year are Six Degrees and Jericho - both of which have interesting premises and good casts.  The one show I'm on the fence about is Brothers & Sisters.  I've seen the first two episodes and I'm going to give it a third before I decide to dump it or not.

Of course, this week will see the premieres of Lost, BSG and Veronica Mars.  For anyone who's not watching any of these shows...  WHY NOT?  All three have been on for 3 seasons and have shown to have great writing, good casts and sustainable plots.  Stop doing whatever it is you're doing and watch them.

Yes, I am in the Peace Corps and am watching American television.  I've come to grips with it.  No toilet digging African style or isolation SE Asia style for me.  These are the cards I've been dealt and the opportunities I'm been given.  Why not take advantage of them?

Outside of my TV addiction, I've been spending a chunk of time on a few websites.  I went ahead and got a MySpace account which ya'll can view here.  A word of warning, it will suck you in.  I also found this link to a Quiz website.  And of course, if you haven't heard of YouTube, check it out.  Finally, I signed up for a Fantasy Football League even though I haven't seen an American football game in over 18 months.  All this, of course, is in addition to my usual standby's of Cleveland Indians obsession and being a news junkie.

So plenty of distraction and down time for all the hard work that's being done....

Posted by: mjmarble at October 03, 2006 03:55 | link | comments (3)