A Chronicle of my Changing Times.

Salamanca Impressions

A few words from Salamanca because I intend to finish up a post or so on my time in Bulgaria before I turn my blogging attention to life and learning here.  I just wanted to mention a few passing notes while the first impressions were still fresh in my mind. 

 

Spain is beautiful – more beautiful than I had ever imagined.  Many of my friends have sung the praises of this country only to have them fall on deaf ears.  I think this traces back to my aversion to Spanish (and Ms. Worth constant efforts to somehow shoe me it’s value) in High School.  But coming in on the train and later my wanderings around the city have shown me that I have been stupid in my stubbornness.  Parks overflow with people, young and old, enjoying the mornings, days and evenings.  It is clean and well kept, although it generally has a newness to it that is difficult to rationalize with much of the stone work that predominates everything.

 

I’ve had a bit of bad luck these last few days, even though the water I accidentally spilled the morning I left Bulgaria indicated that I would find happiness and success here.  First, although Bulgaria Air’s website indicated differently, I was charged 90 Euros extra for having two bags instead of one.  No time to argue with the check-in woman at 6:15 in the morning.  Of course upon arrival in Madrid I discover that my bags sensed my desire to stay in BG and thus remained.  I’ve been yelled at twice by my host mother, (once for leaving my lights on in my room when I went to the bathroom, and also for taking too long of a shower – it was my first here and I had worn my dirty clothes for two days and felt disgustingly dirty).  Of course, without my luggage I’ve had to go spend money I hadn’t counted on spending in the first place on such things as deodorant and toothbrushes.  There’s a chance my luggage might be delivered tomorrow – a full 72 hours after I arrived in the country. 

 

I’ve often thought back to my post from a few days ago.  I have learned to be patient and overcome or adapt to anything thrown at me.  The other students in the apartment with me are amazed that I’m not throwing a fit.  These things are minor inconveniences to me, while the important thing is that I’m here.

 

Which brings me to my last point; walking around yesterday and today I sense that this is just right.  The path that I’m on at the moment is where I’m supposed to be and what I’m supposed to be doing.  I had long discussions with friends and family before finally deciding to come here about whether this was a good idea in the long run.  Something more than the success I’ve had with classes thus far or the interest in my surrounds tells me that this simply fits.

Posted by: mjmarble at June 26, 2007 15:11 | link | comments
travel, fun stuff, studies

And it is done...

After a hectic day yesterday of packing and abortive attempts of mailing packages back to the states I spent my first true "All-Nighter" since my college days repacking everyting I had from 2 suitcases and 4 packages to 3 suitcases.  I also did my best to clean up the place a bit, even though I had been told in no uncertain terms by the woman in charge of the dormitory that it was not my job to clean - they paid people for that.  I just couldn't in good conscious leave my mess to someone else.

Today has been a blur of a bus ride to Sofia early this morning and then crashing for 30 minutes at my friend's apartment where I'll be spending the night tonight.  I realized that taking a 3 checked bag onto the plane would be prohibitively expensive, especially since I'll have a leg to Spain on Sunday and then a longer leg to the US in a few weeks.  So with my friend's help, I came up with a solution to ship it as freight back to the states.  Off to the airport we went to get that "30 minute" task completed only to find out that it really takes close to 3 hours.  Regardless, it's taken care of and I don't have to worry about lugging a 24 kilo hard cased suitcase with me for the next month.  Money well spent, if you ask me.

This of course led me to rush off to Peace Corps office, where I now sit.  By the time I got here it was 4:45 and people weren't all to happy with me since I was supposed to be in at 1pm.  I think I had the quickest verification of completion (a rather lengthy checklist) in the history of PCBG.  In the end, I looked up at the medical officer and said "that's it?" before I realized everything was done.  So rather anti-climatically my service here ended.

I'll bum around Sofia tonight and tomorrow before flying out Sunday morning.  The hard part is done in many ways now all I have to do is make it to my flight.  Well that and say a few last, rather painful, goodbyes.  It's hard to believe that my two years are over.  This is going to take some time to sink in...

In good news - I am an Uncle for the second time!  My sister gave birth to Emily last evening and both baby and mom are doing wondefully.  I can't wait to get home to see the newest edition to the clan. 

Posted by: mjmarble at June 22, 2007 18:21 | link | comments (1)
work, plan, family

Rememberances and Impressions...

I was walking down to the center of town from my apartment this sultry sun-drenched evening, pausing to glance across the city at all the appropriate vistas and down a few picturesque tree lined staircases, doing my best to capture in my mind what it has meant to me to live here these past two years.  I’ve now lived here long enough to know what’s beyond the bend or which stores to avoid when buying meat.  The foreign and abnormal has become the norm and I’m sure not just a bit of culture shock awaits me back in America.

 

Two years ago I made a pair of, what might have seemed to an outsider looking in, questionably timed and relatively expensive trips just prior to departure to Peace Corps.  One was to see my old college haunts, the other to NYC to gather with a group of friends from the internet.  To me these were important because I knew I would change over the next few years in outlook and perspective and I wanted to shore up some things which I held dear to me.

 

I look back now from the end of my service here and realize now, even more so, how much my life and my person changed and now value those trips all the more.  PCV’s and RPCV’s often talk about the fact they’ve changed but many times find it difficult to put into words just what in them is different.  This is something I’ve thought about quite a bit.  I always talked about the virtue that is patience, but never truly discovered it in myself until I came here.  Now I tell close friends that I lacked it in America and they simply don’t believe me.  My confidence and belief in myself to overcome and adapt to just about any circumstance thrown at me has grown by leaps and bounds.  Setting out and accomplishing a complete upheaval of my life in a premeditated, directed and controlled way assures me that I will succeed in the future.  I’m more open to try new things, especially foods and find myself even liking things I despised. 

 

I have an appreciation for the world at large and now dislike the complete American-centric life I lived before.  I feel much more comfortable in my own skin, even in my flaws on which this time as directed a glaring spotlight.  I know that, while I’m better at following through on ideas or projects, I still have a long way to go to be able to finish things I set out to do consistently.  There are times that I better served by pulling back from my old strong personality assertive self, but have yet to master when this is.

 

Over two years ago I boarded a plane in Chicago and got stuck sitting next to a scruffy man from Albania who went on and on about how nice the Balkans were and how I was lucky to be going there.  I remember sitting on the bus leaving the airport and fighting mild uneasiness about the blocks and half built buildings flying past.  My excitement was so strong that I stayed up the entire 3 hour bus ride to Strelcha talking to my newfound friend Erin, ostensively to comfort her since she was having a rough go of it, but really bubbling over with excitement.  The rest of the jet lagged occupants of the bus slept.

 

Within weeks, herds of sheep stopping traffic when crossing the road in the village I lived in became normal.   Just as the sight of a dead animal carcass hanging in the back yard didn’t cause the batting of an eyelash, I was whisked off to my very first Peace Corp moment seeing the multicolored, young and active center of Haskovo with it’s endless café’s spilling out onto the pedestrian walks and parks, numerous discos and bars, and seemingly endless English speaking inhabitants.  It was here that I faced my first real challenge of living in a completely empty 9 story building for the first two months.  I overcame this only to be faced with my biggest cultural adjustment difficulty – the two hour café where coffee, tea, cola or water were nursed and stretched the out to last the entirety of your time only to get up and move to a different café.  Coming from the land of free refills and bottomless cups of coffee this seemed absurd. 

 

All of the sudden the summer of innocence and indulgence was over and I was a teacher.  I still haven’t figured out who came up with that brilliant idea.  To my delight I discovered that my ability to speak ‘Kid’ from America translated well here.  Somewhere along the line I came to question the usefulness of a dryer as opposed to hanging clothes to dry.  Yet cable TV found even greater prominence.  Ancient rusty Russian Ladas passing even older Roma horse drawn wooden carts whilst simultaneously being passed by overbearing black tinted window Mafia Mercedes was to be expected.  Continuous near death head on collision scares on the highway no longer caused severe muscle cramps over long trips – after a while I even stopped bracing myself for the seemingly inevitable impact.

 

2006, my year of travel, began and somehow a long weekend trip to London became just as exciting as heading to a mountain village to relax and see how things happen in the rest of Bulgaria.  Italy became blasé – ok, no it didn’t; but trips take a weird normalcy when you’re aware that you’ll be returning again in 6 months.  I discovered the joy that is the green valleys and towering snow capped peaks that is the Alps.  Croatian coastlines seared their mythic beauty into my memory and imagination.  My love for the lush greenery of the temperate climates was confirmed by the sands of the Sahara and beige crags of mountains in the Sinai. 

 

Through all these travels, trials and oddities a rhythm to my life and time here began to develop even as it constantly changed.  I settled into routines and even found myself in a rut or two.  The wheel turns and time passes even as you’re fully aware of the moments passing by in what by now seems like a flurry of activity.  But life has slowed, or maybe it was just me moving so much less that I noticed that which wasn’t there before.

 

And somehow in all that I became who I am today.  I don’t know if it was by conscious design or dumb luck, but those things I sought to shore up prior to my departure still remain.  Those very things are deeper, more vibrant and richer just like so many other aspects of my life.  My life is unimaginable without adding in my time here.  And as I steal moments that I honestly don’t have these last 3 days in a futile effort to photograph to my mind what has made this place special to me; I know that while the specific memories shall fade, their impact never will.

Posted by: mjmarble at June 18, 2007 23:52 | link | comments
service, contemplation

Counting Down

I started this blog 3.5 years ago to follow how my life would change.  It’s taken me from the idea to leave my life as it was in Charlotte, to actually making those changes, to leaving for Bulgaria, to impressions and life here, to applying to graduate schools, and now to the end of my time here.  I’m not the same person I was 3.5 years ago and my life is not what I would have imagined it would be.

 

Time runs short and there’s always so much that I want to do, yet no possible way I could get 1/10 of it all done. I leave Haskovo this Friday and will head to Spain for a 3 week Spanish language immersion program in Salamanca before crossing the pond once again on July 16^th.  It’s a sad and exciting time.  One on hand I am leaving this life I’ve built for myself.  I feel that it’s the right time for this, but maybe that’s because I’ve always known the time frame I would work here.  There are still plenty of loose ends I wish I had more time to follow up on, to see through to their fruition.

 

But time does march on and I actually have a sense of the time passing, almost as if what I’m seeing and doing now is already a memory.  It’s a strange sensation, but one I’m familiar with in myself.  I’ve taken to thinking that this is my way to focus not as much on what’s around me in times of change but rather to prepare myself for what’s to come.

 

And beyond the bridge of learning Spanish, Washington awaits me.  I found a roommate this week and have been scouring the GW website trying to figure out what classes I should and want to take.  The trouble isn’t finding classes, but rather knowing that I only will have 14 or so classes over two years and deciding which ones are most important and interesting.  I’ve been searching for and applying to jobs in my field.  I have friends who have lived in DC giving me “cool things to see and do” lists.

 

I’m going to make a concerted effort these last few days here to write what life is like, what I’ll miss, introduce some of the people I’m around, etc.  I know if I don’t I never will and this chronicle that I’ve been creating will be somehow incomplete.  But now I have to be off to continue packing (something I’m actually trying to do early for a change) before going to see some friends.

Posted by: mjmarble at June 17, 2007 13:58 | link | comments (1)
contemplation, future, grad school