A Chronicle of my Changing Times.

Cherishing Christmas Eve

So I spent today at work like I've spent the last 10 days at work, hating being there. If I had any misconceptions about having to get up and go to a job I detest becoming easier with the knowledge that it has a finite ending, I have been forcefully corrected from that view. Of course, the fact that it's slower than molasses in winter and there are no sales leads to be had during this festive holiday season doesn't make it any easier. Luckily one of my coworkers discovered a way around the company firewall and managed to download a copy of Lemonade Tycoon and we now have a way to while away the mindnumbing hours. I became so engrossed in the game today that when I was cleared to leave a half an hour early I was stuck playing the game for another 20 minutes. Yeah, sorta like me being online here at 12:40 am for no good reason.

Once I did leave, I managed to perform what's becoming tradition for me: last minute Chirstmas shopping. It's a bit weird this year since I know I'm leaving in a few months. I feel very conflicted and pulled in many directions all at once. Of course I want to spend as much time as possible with my family. Especially with my grandma and great aunt Dorothy. Both are over 80 and may not be around when I return. But I also feel like I have so much to do, there's not time for it all (above and beyond Christmas and other holiday expectations). And then there's presents. I'm obviously slightly short on cash with paying my my debt off within my grasp and the need for savings for future endeavors and gadgetry. But on the flip side I know that I will probably be the recipient of generous gifts and I feel bad about not being able to reciprocate. Guilt is a horrid thing.

So later tonight, in the midst of attempting to enjoy the worship service, my family, good food and yes, my grandmother's infamous & delectable molasses cookies; tucked back in my mind will be the notion that this Chirstmas is one of receiving and not so much giving. And that, my friends, is not they type of person I am. I suspect that I may get an iPod or something similarly silly from my family.

But then again, I cannot let this ruin this season for me. So I'm going to do my best to enjoy every blessed moment of the day and sear it into my memory. Merry Christmas to everyone. May God make it wonderful for you all.

Posted by: mjmarble at December 23, 2004 23:56 | link | comments (1)

Comments:

#1  27 December 2004 - 11:12

 

Blessings to you too. Your goals and plans are a gift and that gift will make you a better stronger person. I had a niece who went to Africa in the Peace Corps and she is now a very strong, independent person.

cactusandquail

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